Last week A-Rod was suspected of doping again. He's the newest contender on the long list of professional athletes currently under scrutiny for taking performance enhancing drugs.
But why?
No, not why A-Rod are you making yourself bigger, faster and stronger -- to make baseball actually bearable to watch -- but why average Joes are we angry about this kind of behavior? As mentioned previously baseball is pretty slow as it is, so to fault A-Rod, Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire for making outstanding plays and hitting an ungodly number of home runs and killing their unborn children with shrinking testicals seems ridiculous.
I grew up in Missouri, about two hours south of St. Louis, in the late 90s when McGwire was stepping up to the plate and hitting a home run every damn game. I was at Busch Stadium at most of those games, a young, rebellious girl bonding with her father instead of hiding in her room consuming massive amounts of vodka. I watched that little ball soar over the wall, regaining the home run lead, over and over, and while I can't remember who was on first or what day of the week it was, I will always remember that shit-eating grin on my father's face as he turned to me, giggling, to give me a high-five. My parents still have Cardinals memorabilia littered all over the basement -- baseballs commemorating records, small colorful baseball bats and my personal favorite, bobble heads Side note: What in God's name were marketers thinking when they made baseball heroes loose chicken heads?
What if McGwire hadn't been taking PEDs? Uh... None of that would've happened and I'd be dead in a ditch somewhere and my father would be heart-broken, not only for me but for the lousy baseball season. That could be an exaggeration and I don't believe in fate but it's a possibility.
So instead of ranting about how these athletes soul should be sucked out through their freshly shrunken pee holes for ruining the game, let's cut the dramatics and stop giving a shit. Let them ALL take PEDs... Let the new generation of athletes and sports come -- one that in some sports, such as MMA, would rival that of the unsettling violence of Roman gladiators. People would love it, plus maybe while we were beating the living shit out of each other we'd stop worrying about beating the living shit out of other countries. Every one needs a little bloodshed at times. As Jonathan Swift once wrote, "War! that mad game the world so loves to play."
If we're able to be bigger, faster and stronger, let's.
You might be thinking, what the hell does this have to do with technology. Well my friends, while I'm not a professional game-player, I am a professional writer... or something like that. And I was definitely a high school and college student with friends with ADD. And friends with ADD come packing stimulants of all kinds -- Adderall, Ritalin, Vyvanse, basically speed. And it helped... with everything. While some kids talked about getting caught up -- meaning the algebra and chemistry for the week to come before the weekend -- I had completed the entire fucking syllabus for me and ten friends. This was also a lucrative business for my alcohol habit, but don't judge me. Do you know how hard it is to fall asleep when your body is working like a hummingbird?
Anyway... Last year I joined a hackerspace where I spent my Tuesdays dressing up like Lisbeth Salander and reading 2400 Hacker Magazine while the nerds gallivanted around the workshop taking apart computers and making women molds with the 3D printer. I drove two hours every Tuesday to do this. I kinda dug it.
While I was reading an edition, I stumbled across an article about scientists, or programmers in the body of scientists, creating "stimulants" that didn't have the nasty -- lack of appetite that leads to weight loss, twitching which induces smoking half a pack of cigarettes in 20 minutes, the inability to fall asleep, and sheer, utter happiness and ambition -- side-affects Adderall and other speeders had, so people could work harder, faster and longer. (Just for the record, I don't know any woman who thinks these are unhealthy side-affects.) Bingo... Super-humans!
The idea that every single one of us could be speeding every single day, being the most productive work-force to have ever lived gives me the chills, in a good way. I want more technology... I want more drive... I want everything... Let the new generation of humans rise! If anyone has any negativity, voice your concerns now, and be defeated by robot creatures of the future.
