A recent article I read noted that voice command would become the go-to method of not only searching for people, places and things on your mobile device, but also of texting.
I. HOPE. NOT.
Voice to text programs work relatively well, and I've been happy with the ease of using this application in the comfort of my own home. But, like I'd guess most Americans, don't spend a lot of time in my home...
Work (meaning my 9 to 5 cubicle inhabitance) consumes most of my days. It's terrifying to think of my coworkers talking to their smartphones who are talking to their friends and family throughout the day. I don't care to know that your wife is incapable of making any decisions by herself. I don't give two shits about your family's medical problems. And I definitely don't want to hear you chatting about politics or anything other subject our opinions differ on.
And in the same vein, I don't want them to hear my personal texts. They're crude, awkward and when taken out of context make me seem like the biggest asshole in New York. And that I am definitely not... These people are born with their middle-finger up and a scowl on their face.
I won't give an example of my texts, but just trust me they are obscene!
Then there's commuting -- approximately two hours -- which is already polluted with loudly explained exploits from the night before and yelling at baby-daddy's and their babies.
Then, finally, there's fun! Voice-to-text features most likely don't work well in noisy environments. And besides I try to keep as quiet as possible at bars so the "guy of my dreams" has ample opportunity to come over and say hello. ;)
That's a joke. Seriously... I don't do that.
Touch texting is private and discrete. Those are beneficial features. Touch texting isn't going anywhere anytime soon.
Comment with the future most embarrassing voice-to-text messages.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Unless you can make a 3D printer that can cook like a Spanish woman I'm not interested.
As gun control advocates voice their concerns, pleading to increase background checks and limit or even outright ban the sale of automatic machine guns because of recent violent episodes such as the Sandy Hook elementary school shootings and The Dark Night theater massacre, other companies are working with easily accessible -- prices range from DIY kits for a couple hundred dollars to tens of thousands of dollars -- 3D printers to make guns.
And these aren't just replicas of guns, but actual firearms that work (loosely). Some 3D printed guns parts have split because of the pressure of firing several rounds, but Defense Distributed, an Austin, Texas-based project, plans on working out the kinks.
What will this mean for the future ... of weaponry? of selling, buying and keeping weapons? of 3D printers, which are revolutionizing the art fields?
While Defense Distributed is raising terrifying questions about the future use of 3D printers, Sculpteo is manufacturing a product less ominous and extremely useful. Sculpteo creates custom iPhone adapters for older iPod docks. TechCrunch, in the piece (linked above), brings up a good point. In a future where everyone has their own 3D printer, print-on-demand hardware puts hardware stores out of business and huge companies under pressure to make a whole new product instead of applying simple add-ons to the old product and selling it as something new.
While this example is intangible, think Apple and Samsung with their annoyingly small updates to make people buy new phones every year. Which leads me to believe eventually there will be a type of printer for this type electronic data in the future, so we can program there updates ourselves.
And while some might be cringing at the thought of all the companies shut down and jobs lost because of this innovation, I'll call your attention to the fact that this is just not true. Even though -- and we've seen this time and time again -- technology takes over a business formerly done by humans, does not mean that those humans never work again and die. No, those humans find other jobs, usually "better" jobs, and by that I mean jobs where the least amount of grueling physical work is applauded by the highest pay.
Blue-collar jobs are destroyed by technology, which leads people to white-collar jobs. (I want to mention I don't prefer one collar over the other.)
Other implementations are on the opposite end of the spectrum from frightening, including 3D printed food. Researchers in the Netherlands has grown animal cells to make lean muscle and Modern Meadow is working with bioprinting to replicating stem cells to create $300,000 hamburgers.
If that sounds disgusting, it's probably because it is. Researchers at Cornell University who have been working with 3D printed food as an alternative for astronauts, spoke with The Verge. They're having trouble getting people to actually eat the "almost, but not entirely, ordinary food."
But benefits to playing with your food do exist!
The Huffington Post also spoke with Cornell University scientists, who mentioned how much easier it could be to get children to eat their vegetables if broccoli was liquefied in a food processor, ran through the 3D printer for several minutes and sculpted into a furry zoo animals. Dr. Jeffrey Lipton then says, "Fun shapes don't just have to be for chicken nuggets!"
One problem, Dr. Lipton, chicken nuggets are fucking delicious. Chicken nuggets were a staple kid food before they were morphed into crowns and dinosaurs, not the other way around.
Give some credit to children, for God's sake. They still have taste buds, most likely more sensitive to shitty flavor than yours doctor. (Although I say that without having the slightest inkling of how old this doctor is.)
So to conclude, another absolutely absurd tech application: Toasters that burn highly-pixelated images as metaphors for the morning news into bread.
And these aren't just replicas of guns, but actual firearms that work (loosely). Some 3D printed guns parts have split because of the pressure of firing several rounds, but Defense Distributed, an Austin, Texas-based project, plans on working out the kinks.
What will this mean for the future ... of weaponry? of selling, buying and keeping weapons? of 3D printers, which are revolutionizing the art fields?
While Defense Distributed is raising terrifying questions about the future use of 3D printers, Sculpteo is manufacturing a product less ominous and extremely useful. Sculpteo creates custom iPhone adapters for older iPod docks. TechCrunch, in the piece (linked above), brings up a good point. In a future where everyone has their own 3D printer, print-on-demand hardware puts hardware stores out of business and huge companies under pressure to make a whole new product instead of applying simple add-ons to the old product and selling it as something new.
While this example is intangible, think Apple and Samsung with their annoyingly small updates to make people buy new phones every year. Which leads me to believe eventually there will be a type of printer for this type electronic data in the future, so we can program there updates ourselves.
And while some might be cringing at the thought of all the companies shut down and jobs lost because of this innovation, I'll call your attention to the fact that this is just not true. Even though -- and we've seen this time and time again -- technology takes over a business formerly done by humans, does not mean that those humans never work again and die. No, those humans find other jobs, usually "better" jobs, and by that I mean jobs where the least amount of grueling physical work is applauded by the highest pay.
Blue-collar jobs are destroyed by technology, which leads people to white-collar jobs. (I want to mention I don't prefer one collar over the other.)
Other implementations are on the opposite end of the spectrum from frightening, including 3D printed food. Researchers in the Netherlands has grown animal cells to make lean muscle and Modern Meadow is working with bioprinting to replicating stem cells to create $300,000 hamburgers.
If that sounds disgusting, it's probably because it is. Researchers at Cornell University who have been working with 3D printed food as an alternative for astronauts, spoke with The Verge. They're having trouble getting people to actually eat the "almost, but not entirely, ordinary food."
But benefits to playing with your food do exist!
The Huffington Post also spoke with Cornell University scientists, who mentioned how much easier it could be to get children to eat their vegetables if broccoli was liquefied in a food processor, ran through the 3D printer for several minutes and sculpted into a furry zoo animals. Dr. Jeffrey Lipton then says, "Fun shapes don't just have to be for chicken nuggets!"
One problem, Dr. Lipton, chicken nuggets are fucking delicious. Chicken nuggets were a staple kid food before they were morphed into crowns and dinosaurs, not the other way around.
Give some credit to children, for God's sake. They still have taste buds, most likely more sensitive to shitty flavor than yours doctor. (Although I say that without having the slightest inkling of how old this doctor is.)
So to conclude, another absolutely absurd tech application: Toasters that burn highly-pixelated images as metaphors for the morning news into bread.
These are stencils and have absolutely nothing to do with the "News" Image Toaster above. Just watch the
video.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Hard-working scientists create a close-to-comatose civilization
When I told a friend about eye-tracking software on the Galaxy SIII and SIV, he said, "We're so lazy."
While eye-tracking software, like Smart Stay, which keeps the screen lit even after the screen timeout as long as I'm looking at the device, can be handy, for most installations it's extremely excessive. For example, just take a look at Umoove's technology here.
It doesn't even matter that you don't have to touch the phone, because you'd still have to technically hold it. And it's easy enough to hold and scroll with the same hand so you can hold your Starbucks latte paid with by your tele.
Maybe I'm just writing off this technology without thinking but I don't see any reason why this would make my life easier really. Help me out!?
Reminds me of a quote by the man, Dr. Albert Einstein: "I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots."
This is something I think about on the regular. I'd like to ask engineers, scientists and nerds to start working on technology that actually means something, please. This kind of laziness, paired with the newly launched Google Glass is just the start of augmented reality. As George Orwell and Phillip K. Dick are celebrated as predictors of the future,give it 100 years and people will observe the world Andrew Stanton. Not familiar? That's because it's the director of kid's animation film, WALL-E. Soon that movie will be touted as the depressing realistic image of where we're headed.
EEEEEEEEEEEEVA!
While eye-tracking software, like Smart Stay, which keeps the screen lit even after the screen timeout as long as I'm looking at the device, can be handy, for most installations it's extremely excessive. For example, just take a look at Umoove's technology here.
It doesn't even matter that you don't have to touch the phone, because you'd still have to technically hold it. And it's easy enough to hold and scroll with the same hand so you can hold your Starbucks latte paid with by your tele.
Maybe I'm just writing off this technology without thinking but I don't see any reason why this would make my life easier really. Help me out!?
Reminds me of a quote by the man, Dr. Albert Einstein: "I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots."
This is something I think about on the regular. I'd like to ask engineers, scientists and nerds to start working on technology that actually means something, please. This kind of laziness, paired with the newly launched Google Glass is just the start of augmented reality. As George Orwell and Phillip K. Dick are celebrated as predictors of the future,give it 100 years and people will observe the world Andrew Stanton. Not familiar? That's because it's the director of kid's animation film, WALL-E. Soon that movie will be touted as the depressing realistic image of where we're headed.
EEEEEEEEEEEEVA!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Week long birthdays aren't just for high-maintenance women anymore
I seem to have made a lot of enemies. Or maybe it's just because I hide my birthday on Facebook... But most of the people I surround myself with have not and do not, so end up getting an unreadable amount of birthday wishes on their Facebook walls.
A friend's mom recently commented on another guy's Facebook wall saying, "Happy Birthday!" a day before this kid's actual birthday.
This was met with, "Thanks, but my birthday is actually tomorrow. LOL."
She said, "I know."
Confused...
Tomorrow came and went and by the end of the day, the guy had some utterly ridiculous number of "Happy
Birthday" comments, with around 70+ people writing bland wishes on his wall.
And then it hit me... That mom is a genius!
Wanting her message to be seen instead of lost in the jumble of real friends' (or more likely people you haven't spoken with in years) messages. Success.
Maybe her son was smacking his forehead thinking, 'This is why we should keep parents off Facebook.' But what she did worked, and honestly a few others followed her lead, probably not aware of what they were doing, more likely clumsily just greeting the birthday because someone else did and they didn't want to seem like the asshole that forgot.
And this brings me to a larger point.
While most people think birthdays become less meaningful as you get older, this generation will soon have birthdays weeks long. Instead of just that one measly day that more than not falls on a work day, which means you can't get drunk with reckless abandonment, unless you want all your co-workers AM drunk just by taking a whiff of your breath. Too be honest, that wouldn't be bad.
So you don't want to get drunk at work, boss? That's because you just don't know how fun, and ineffectively more productive, it is. (I kid.)
Although I only see the world becoming more and more socially isolated, hiding behind a computer screen and with that becoming more awkward about anything when face-to-face, Facebook will create not only week-long online birthdays, but some -- crazy ex-girlfriends and other types of stalkers -- will transition this into the real world, wanting to make a statement with their card a couple days before the recipient's birthday so as not to get lost in between stacks of birthday cards from relatives on the actual day a watermelon-sized alien popped out of a woman's private parts.
Bring on week-long binge drinking followed by afternoon greasy food and emotional-cake-devouring.
"I don't recognize any of you, and I can't tell if it's because I've been drunk for five
days or if it's because I only invited Facebook friends to my birthday party." -Not even
the one holding the cake
A friend's mom recently commented on another guy's Facebook wall saying, "Happy Birthday!" a day before this kid's actual birthday.
This was met with, "Thanks, but my birthday is actually tomorrow. LOL."
She said, "I know."
Confused...
Tomorrow came and went and by the end of the day, the guy had some utterly ridiculous number of "Happy
Birthday" comments, with around 70+ people writing bland wishes on his wall.
And then it hit me... That mom is a genius!
Wanting her message to be seen instead of lost in the jumble of real friends' (or more likely people you haven't spoken with in years) messages. Success.
Maybe her son was smacking his forehead thinking, 'This is why we should keep parents off Facebook.' But what she did worked, and honestly a few others followed her lead, probably not aware of what they were doing, more likely clumsily just greeting the birthday because someone else did and they didn't want to seem like the asshole that forgot.
And this brings me to a larger point.
While most people think birthdays become less meaningful as you get older, this generation will soon have birthdays weeks long. Instead of just that one measly day that more than not falls on a work day, which means you can't get drunk with reckless abandonment, unless you want all your co-workers AM drunk just by taking a whiff of your breath. Too be honest, that wouldn't be bad.
So you don't want to get drunk at work, boss? That's because you just don't know how fun, and ineffectively more productive, it is. (I kid.)
Although I only see the world becoming more and more socially isolated, hiding behind a computer screen and with that becoming more awkward about anything when face-to-face, Facebook will create not only week-long online birthdays, but some -- crazy ex-girlfriends and other types of stalkers -- will transition this into the real world, wanting to make a statement with their card a couple days before the recipient's birthday so as not to get lost in between stacks of birthday cards from relatives on the actual day a watermelon-sized alien popped out of a woman's private parts.
Bring on week-long binge drinking followed by afternoon greasy food and emotional-cake-devouring.
days or if it's because I only invited Facebook friends to my birthday party." -Not even
the one holding the cake
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